2009 So Far

It's February and already things are going so much better than all of last year. I guess I've lumped 2007 and 2008 together. Those were tough years for both Leilani and myself. Aside from Sugar's death and the stuff with job uncertainty, we realized we had a lot of baggage from church and stuff to deal with. Not fun.

So anyways, 2009. Already this year, I'm in the best physical shape of my life thanks to Coach Rivas and the guys at Abilene Boxing Club. Three times I week, those guys kick me into shape with 2 hours of exercises and bag drills. Some days I don't look forward to it but I know I've never been this strong, this toned, and feel this good.

Also, after nearly 6 years of hosting and producing my radio show, The Appetizer, I had my first encounter with good press. As I blogged on myspace, a gentleman with the Dallas Morning News was passing through Abilene in December and happened to be listening to KACU and happened to be tuned in to The Appetizer. We were playing a unique and rising star out of NYC named Lindsay Katt. The writer fell in love with her music, got back to Dallas and wrote up an article about Lindsay and made several references to KACU and our programming, and how it kills commercial radio. Lindsay forwarded the article to me, I contacted the writer and thanked him for the good press. I also asked if he'd be interested in doing an article on the show, figuring the worst he could do is say no. Instead, he was excited about it and we talked later that week, the article was written and published hours later.

The result of that has been interesting. People that never heard of me or the show have been writing and noticing. At the same time, people who have acted like I don't live in the universe that they do suddenly acknowledge the show (not necessarily me). My pride has had a hard time coping with that. It's kind of like when Mickey approaches Rocky in the first film after Balboa has been offered a chance to fight the champion. In some way, he likes the attention, but he also realizes that he's been working really hard for a long time and it seemed no one noticed until he is offered to fight Creed. Part of me feels that way.

Leilani and I took a proactive step towards coming to peace with the wounds and hurts from our last church, drama and issues that have plagued us much longer than need be. We went to a counselor last week and she helped us see some things within ourselves that we didn't know were there. I started realizing earlier in the week how I have an emotional need for approval from men that I admire. I didn't realize how deep that was, but understanding how I had really admired our pastor and wanted him to view me as someone with leadership potential and he didn't it crushed my spirit and my ability to trust him as a leader. It was like being abandoned by a father, which was what I considered him to be in a way. Praying through that was really powerful. I felt a lot better about myself and know I can move forward easier.

There's other positives to talk about. I fall more and more in love with my wife every day. We get on each other's nerves sometimes, but at the end of the day, and the start of the new one, I'm more thankful than the day before for the woman God set aside as the one for me.